In my professional circle of friends, sometimes leadership assessment tools are brought up, and I’ll be asked about my results.
CliftonStrengths is a popular one. Its message is to lean into what you are strong in. They measure 34 strengths like drive, action and excellence. When I’m asked my CliftonStrength results, I share that they were “empathy” and “positivity.”
Usually my friends will indicate they think that’s nice. Then there will be an awkward pause.
Which, I’ll pierce by saying, “Yes, it’s true. I’ll never be rich.” Then we’ll have a good laugh.
Family Weddings
One place that I can fly my empathy and positivity flags proudly are family weddings. They fit right in!
My niece got married Labor Day weekend. She and her husband and their families created a day full of love and affection that included their ceremony and celebrating together.
It was a full-blown family affair that was also full of their old and new friends. I had so much fun catching up with people on the bride’s side and meeting people from the groom’s side.
My tears of happiness were flowing as I reveled in the love and affection that I felt throughout the day.
Love – not just two vines
The priest, Fr. Tom, who presided over the ceremony (and who is my cousin) gave us a beautiful analogy that I recalled the next day when I was weeding my flower bed.
When a couple marries, they’re like two vines being intertwined who are stronger now and able to handle the ups and downs of life that will come.
Then he gestured to all of us and said — their community weaves support around the couple, committing to help them with whatever life throws at them.
My tears were flowing then too.
It is incredible to witness public commitment. And in witnessing it, acknowledge my role in supporting it.
After the ceremony while we were celebrating, I heard Fr. Tom’s message repeated several times in different ways.
People were feeling the love. And it felt good.
Resilience
At work, we need love too. That may sound awkward, I know.
But it’s true. We need support to handle the ups and downs that are part of every job. As leaders, we need to model and promote resilience, and in doing so, let others know we are there for them.
I work with leaders charged with implementing massive changes like digital transformations or integrating new employees from acquisitions. These changes provide tremendous benefit, and often are the only way a company can stay relevant in their marketplace.
They are also hard and can fail because they require people to grow and partner to come up with solutions to problems that inevitably surface along the way.
That’s where the love comes in.
The best change leaders wrap support around the team they are asking to transform. They connect their people and create the right environment for collaboration that results in solving problems and innovation.
They know building and promoting strong relationships is part of their job that they need to master.
You can do this too.
I encourage you to work on:
- Expressing empathy directly. Let others know your workplace and personal stories of tough times that you overcame, especially an early career employee who is struggling with a new assignment.
- Voicing encouragement and affection. When you feel grateful for the grit of a team member, let them know publicly. It not only will lift them up, it helps others know what you value.
If empathy and positivity are hard for you, practice. Do this:
- Encourage young parents. When you see someone pushing a baby in a stroller or walking a toddler down the sidewalk, stop and greet then. Simply, look them in the eye, smile and say, “Good for you getting your little one out for a nice walk!” Then watch their face light up.
- Bring the positivity. The next time you find yourself in a meeting where person after person is sharing frustrations, don’t jump in. Patiently, hold back. Then shift the mood with summary of what you heard, a smile and sincere encouragement. Something like, “I hear how tough this has been, and I know we’ll figure it out together.”
Change Leaders and Early Career Employees
My book, Get Gen Z into the Game is available for you. I want you to read it and see how you can be a leader who encourages others to achieve even when it’s hard.
Key Points
Real leadership love is about attention, structure, and follow-through — the kind of support that helps people grow, not just feel good.
Leaders show love through wrap-around support systems that make people feel seen, backed, and never alone during change.
p.s. Here’s a link to CliftonStrengths. Check it out and let me know your strengths.