Block Parties
In the Chicago neighborhoods, there's a summer tradition of barricading your block for a full day for a "block party." Neighbors will pick a day, work together to plan their party and when the big day comes, they move a car, a van, construction horses or a bunch garbage cans to each end of the block and stop traffic so the community can come together and get to know each other on a more personal level.
Then their block of the street is turned into party central!
I love everything about this tradition. Its goodness can last the whole year and lead to more conversations with neighbors.
Work Neighbors
At work, we have neighbors too. These are the people we share space with in the office and around our virtual conference room tables.
Like the neighbors where we live, it's not automatic that we know each other's names or much about each other. But, when we do, life's burdens are less heavy.
The ancient Greek philosopher Epicurus would explain it this way: "It is not so much our friends' help that helps us, as the confidence of their help."
Compassion Needed
Social scientists have shown when people have a network of support, they live longer.
In Lost Connections, author Johann Hari tells stories and lays out several research studies that point to the emotional strength we get when we connect with others.
One research study that struck me was conducted by Kaiser Permamente. They included a question in their patient intake that asked if the patient had suffered a trauma as a child.
When a doctor saw that the patient had suffered a childhood trauma, they were to say "I see you had to survive X or Y in your childhood. I'm sorry that happened to you-it shouldn't have. Would you like to talk about those experiences?"
If the person said they did, the doctor was told to express sympathy and ask: "Do you feel it had a negative long-term effect on you? Is it relevant to your health today?"
The goal was to offer patients two things at the same time:
- An opportunity for them to tell their story of the traumatic experience in a way that they could make sense of.
- To show them that they wouldn’t be judged. They would see an authority figure, whom they trusted, offer them compassion for what they went through.
Tens of thousands of doctor consultations were compiled. The data showed that the patients who had their trauma compassionately acknowledged by an authority figure seemed to show significant reduction in their illnesses.
One conversation expedited the needed healing.
Isn't that AMAZING?
Conversations at Work
Conversations that surface issues and concerns in a respectful way result in faster fixes in the workplace.
I have a client whose team members treat each other like neighbors who have spent the day together at their Block Party! They're awesome. They "know" each other, beyond names and function.
We worked together to get a massive, complex integration completed. As concerns and issues were raised throughout the project, I could feel the respect seeping through the hard discussions.
The moral of these stories is "we" are always stronger together. The better we know and understand each other, the greater likelihood of success and joy in our endeavors.
Key Points
Community is built on small exchanges of trust—each time we ask for or offer help, we reinforce the social fabric that holds us.
Real confidence isn’t self-reliance; it’s knowing we can depend on each other and being willing to both give and receive support.