Free Play - learning how to push the limits
These days, a common interview screening question for an early career candidate is, “Tell me about the last time you challenged an authority. How did it go?”
Employers are seeking to confirm their new hires fit into their workplace. That means being able to express their point of view, even when it’s different from the boss or a colleague. Employees who are not able to handle the give and take of sharing different points of view when working are struggling, and it has their managers perplexed.
Psychologically fragile
Experts who pay attention to mental health trends believe that Gen Z workers are psychologically fragile. Why? Because they did not have enough free play when they were kids.
In “Free to Learn” Peter Gray explains that young adults who didn’t get enough unsupervised play time as children missed out on learning how to push the limits, deal with fear, solve problems, deal with anger and get along with peers. In the workplace, these early career employees are not equipped for the stresses of work life.
However, Gen Z has demonstrated when given clear direction and proper incentive, they will follow a manager’s instructions.
That means managers of this cohort can design assignments into their employee’s job that develop the skills the employee needs to be awesome at working with others. When managers take this approach, they will see their team members’ performance improve and their confidence grow.Hanging out with some members of the lunch crowd.
Harden not your heart
A good boss who is both warm and demanding (a warm demander leader) can help you harden or toughen up so you can handle the awkwardness of developing essential soft skills, such as problem solving, relationship building, adaptability, conflict resolution and decision-making.
My first professional job was at American Express working for the Payment Centers. One of my managers was Vijay. Vijay was a warm demander leader. He made it a habit of collecting a handful of us each day to go to lunch.
Warm
Over those lunches, we became friends. We talked about our families, we talked about what we were doing outside of work for fun, and yes, we did talk about work too.
Demanding
As a result, back in the office, when pushed to take on new assignments, or address a hard problem, we faced the challenge with confidence. We knew we would have the support of Vijay and others in the lunch crowd should we need help.
Workplace Practices
Push your early career employees to strengthen their essential skills IRL business skills.
- Lead with your heart ❤️: Start by strengthening your relationship with your early career employee. Spend time with them making casual conversation. Share what you do for fun with them by talking about it or bringing them along on adventure. For example, if you love boating, invite your team members to go boating with you.
- Make them do something hard 💪: Take time to assess which essential skill your early career employee needs to work on first and give them an assignment that requires them to work on that skill. For example, if they struggle with collaboration, assign them the job of forming a New Employee Welcome committee. Give them some rough parameters like the number of employees you want them to include on the committee, a budget and a deadline for providing you recommendations.
- Role model skills 😎: Consider the essential skills your employee needs to work on and strategize how you can consistently model these skills. For example, if they struggle with decision making, include them in a meeting when you are being presented alternative recommendations from a team, and will make the final decision for that team to progress.
Key Points
Real strength isn’t about becoming tougher — it’s about building protective layers without losing your softness.
When the world feels harsh, leaders model resilience by absorbing the hit, keeping perspective, and staying kind.