When faced with how to spend a few precious days with my adult sons on a rare trip together, I fretted.
We had made the effort to travel across an ocean to spend time together. I wanted us to do more than see Ireland. I wanted us to experience it.
We were in Killarney.
Everyone we encountered was friendly and forthcoming with advice. The resounding chorus was:
“You have to go to the Gap of Dunloe. It’s the most beautiful place in all of Ireland.”
This was often followed by:
“And make sure you go to a pub and watch the All-Ireland football match on Sunday.”
Kerry was playing Mayo.
Mayo had been cursed.
But many believed the curse had been lifted.
Mayo for Sam!
Off to the pub we went, to watch a game we knew absolutely nothing about.
We were engulfed in a sea of true fans in the dark back room of the pub, where the match unfolded on a large screen. Sitting on little round stools, we felt the passion of the all-ages crowd around us.
We learned what “Mayo for Sam” meant. We learned about the curse. We learned why Mayo’s victory that day was still respected by even the deepest fans of Kerry.
It was brilliant.
I teared up a few times!
The next day, I was still considering the Gap of Dunloe. I had checked out the various options—jaunty cars, hiking, biking—but hadn’t quite decided what we should do.
Then I had a conversation with my taxi driver.
It went something like this:
“So, do you know the TV show you have in the U.S., The Biggest Loser, where the couples compete to lose the most weight and the winners get to pick an adventure?”
I said it sounded familiar.
“I watched an episode where the winners chose as their prize to go to the Gap of Dunloe. While they had lost weight, they were not the athletic types. Yet they rode e-bikes up and down the steep hills, and they were just fine. You should do that with your sons. You should! Better yet, you should get an e-bike and make your lads have regular bikes.
“You need to do it. It’s the most beautiful place in all of Ireland.”
I looked out the window as we drove past beautiful Killarney National Park and considered what he had said.
Then he glanced at me in the rearview mirror and smiled.
“I am not saying you must do it.”
I smiled back.
“Yes. I’ll be back home telling my friends about the disastrous bike ride we had in Ireland and how it all started with this former Irish footballer taxi driver telling me about The Biggest Loser TV show he watched.”
We shared a laugh.
Later that same day, in no small part because of that encouraging conversation, my sons and I rented e-bikes and rode through the Gap of Dunloe.
We passed the jaunty cars and hikers. We saw lots of sheep. Everywhere we looked, there was another beautiful vista.
And yes, we had a couple of mishaps along the way.
We handled them.
They only colored the memory brighter.
It was a beautiful afternoon in what may, indeed, be the most beautiful place in all of Ireland.
Warmly Demand Yourself
A Warm Demander is someone who combines genuine care and encouragement with a push to grow. We usually think about doing that for someone else.
But sometimes, we need to warmly demand more of ourselves.
Get curious. Talk to people. Ask questions. Listen to their stories and advice. That’s being social—and it can lead you to opportunities you never would have discovered on your own.
Then, when one of those opportunities makes you a little uncomfortable, don’t automatically back away. Give yourself the same encouraging push a great leader would give someone else:
You can do this. Give it a try.
And let the people around you see you do it.
As leaders, parents, mentors and friends, we model growth when we allow others to see us try something new, get uncomfortable, have a few mishaps, laugh about them and keep going.
Be social. Warmly demand yourself. Then model it for others.
That’s how we grow.
Key Points
- Be social and stay curious. Talking to people, asking questions and listening can lead to experiences you never would have discovered on your own.
- Warmly demand yourself. Push beyond your comfort zone, try something new and let others see you learning, adapting and growing.
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