Any elite athlete can tell you at least one story about how they overcame adversity.
Usually the stories are about how they they had an impoverished childhood, family tragedy or an injury - and how they persevered to get where they are now.
When I watched the super bowl this year, the NFL commercial about youth mental health struggles caught my attention. I was expecting to hear a story about an athlete overcoming adversity.
But instead, what I heard was athletes passively talking about their mental health struggles and then a cut to the NFL and the resources they can provide.
I actually hated the ad. It missed the mark.
Athletes can be role models of the skills we all need to keep our mental health honed to stay healthy and strong.
Think about it.
You know what elite athletes are amazing at?
Starting Over
When they get suddenly traded to a new team, they need to figure it out fast. All eyes are on them, and that’s not easy. The best ones do the essential work. They quickly and genuinely connect with their team members, so they can do what they need to do to perform and win.
Friendships are more important that Energy Drinks.
The ad was about kids getting the mental health resources they need. Like star athletes that are starting over on a new team, kids need the life skill of connecting with others. When you have confidence of a friend’s support, you can handle the challenges life throws at you. This not only helps you win, but it also helps you be mentally healthier and stronger.
The NFL ad reported that “over one third of kids struggle with mental health.” I wondered if these kids have role models in their lives who are showing them how to have a friend and be a friend.
In life, we all have moments when we need to start over. The skill of pushing yourself through the awkwardness of reaching out to new people can be a game changer.
So the next time you need to start over, whether it’s a new job, a new team, new client or new neighbor, do the work of meeting new people — and tell the kids in your life all about it. Be a role model of forming relationships in times of uncertainty.
EGBs: Energy Generating Behaviors
I caught up with some friends last month at National Marquette day. It’s a day that Marquette alums and other fans join the students in cheering for the Men’s Basketball team all around the world.
When I went to Marquette in the eighties, the university promoted socializing constantly. It started with the mandatory 3-day orientation that your Resident Assistant (RA) made sure you participated in.
As we were sharing stories about our college days, I heard myself say, “Marquette taught us how to make friends.”
We all agreed. We each went to college not really knowing anyone. We were encouraged to establish relationships and forced by some role models, including our RAs.
Marquette’s men’s basketball coach, Shaka Smart, is a role model. His winning team is a tight supportive group because of it.
He goes so far as to measure their support during practices and games by tracking EGBs - energy generating behaviors. These are positive remarks and gestures given by one player to another player. He spends time off the court getting to know his players personally, as he walks them to class or talks with their family members, at their family shoot arounds.
He has helped each player adjust to their new team and the Marquette community. Look for Marquette in the NCAA tournament. They are a winning team, and I’m pretty sure I know why. Jamie Dimon, Chairman and CEO of JP Morgan Chase. Adam Jeffery | CNBC
Workplace Relationships
Not only do college students need to adjust to new teams, leaders do too.
I have a favorite article about JP Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon. In it he explains the big shift employees make when they move into management, especially upper management. Many just can’t cut it.
To me, he’s explaining how managers need to be role models of relationship building skills and warmly demand their employees win.
Dimon says, “As managers rise in an organization, they depend on others more and more. The team is increasingly important - many team members know more than their managers do about certain issues - a team working together can get to a better outcome”
Successful leaders create forums for reviewing business performance, or as Jamie Dimon calls it, “the facts.” They are clear about what they expect.
Try these practices to inspire your team members to work together to win.
Forced Fun Events
Establish quarterly social outings with your team, where work is not discussed. The goal should be for the group to get caught-up with each other personally. Make sure the event is at least three hours long, so people have time to make the rounds and converse with everyone. Be the first one at the event and the last one to leave.
Positively Pleasant Peers Time
If your boss doesn’t have forced fun events for you and your peers, take the lead and initiate one. Pick something you enjoy - be it a ball game⚾, boating outing or barbecue at your house. Take pictures to memorialize the event. After the first event, send out the pictures and a save the date for the next event. Share stories about the event with your team members. Be a role model to them of the importance of relationship building with your peers.
Performance Forums with Personality
Establish monthly Key Performance Indicators (KPIs) for your team and each person on the team. Review them together as a group in a performance forum. Add personality to your forum by warming people up at the beginning with a simple ice breaker that results in people getting to know each other better. 😊
Welcome Committee
Assist others who areStarting Over and keep your meeting new people skills honed by becoming the leader that reaches out to anyone who is new in the company. You could do this for a group or individuals. Have fun facts about the organization ready to share, as well has local information that can be helpful for the new team member and their family. Get to know the new person by asking them what they do for fun and what they are working on personally and professionally.Connect the new person to others based on who you think they would benefit from knowing.
Key Points
Starting over isn’t failure — it’s proof of resilience and belief that something better can still take shape.
The best restarts happen when we carry forward the lessons, not the baggage, turning experience into quiet strength.