Cleaning out someone's home after they pass is a necessary task. It's not fun. It can help you start to heal your broken heart. You find things that remind you of happy moments and stories you can share to help others heal.
When my dad was starting to face his mortality, he began cleaning out his house. As he tried to get us to take things, he said "When I die, you're going to have put all of these items in the dumpster."
After he passed, and I was emptying his house, wearing my workman gloves freshly purchased from Menard's, putting things in the dumpster, I thought of his comment.
It made me smile through the tears. I learned a lot from my dad.
I learned the value of kinship from him. He often said, "it's not really that important where you go (to live, to work, to vacation, to college etc.), it is about who is there that matters."
He would go on and say something like "go find nice people, be nice and you will be happy."
In the workplace, we call this culture. A specific company's culture can be hard to define, but it's not hard to feel. It shapes an organization's reputation, drives performance and impacts their bottomline.
Last month, I attended my high school reunion. The positive impact of our high school's culture hit me as I caught up with classmates.
In high school, we were encouraged to socialize with each other, to get to know each other and support each other.
I left the reunion feeling grateful for having been with such nice people during those formative teen years. We had an awesome class with great spirit.
Learnings
One of my favorite activities to do after a long, hard project at work is Lessons Learned.
I helped a client integrate an acquisition with over 1,000 employees into their Human Resources processes.
It was complex program comprised of several project teams. Working as an embedded consultant, I helped them identify the impacts the change was going to have on the employees and how we were going to minimize the disruptions.
During our meetings, when the conversation revealed questions, concerns or issues that we could not solve in the meeting, I logged them for us to address.
Then, as the project was winding down, I got started on a playbook for my client to use for their next acquisition.
It was great to be able to cull through all the good work we did, captured in detail in my log.
I pulled out our learnings and had fun remembering how we partnered to solve quickly unexpected challenges in a collaborative way.
Growing Together
As an imbedded consultant, I join a team and work shoulder-to-shoulder with them. I get to know the team members, unearth what matters most to them and make sure their concerns are addressed.
I push for inclusive collaboration by asking questions that are easier for me to ask because I am "a guest."
As an outsider, I keep the team honest by focusing our discussions on what needs to get done, and warmly insisting we call-out what is slowing us down.
Along the way, we find our rhythm. We get awesome at solving problems quickly, which improves the project ROI.
Then when it's time for me to go, I leave happy knowing I helped them get their huge project done.
Plus, I feel proud knowing that we all grew because of the experience. We worked hard together and the difficult became manageable, even fun at times!
Key Points
Being a good guest means showing up with appreciation and initiative—meeting generosity with care, not passivity.
The best relationships balance warmth and accountability—a gentle reminder that belonging is built through mutual respect.